Alaska Scapegoat Ranch, Volume 7 number 3, March 2005 The Bushigoths are in Charge! Consider our Scapegoat plight, my Alaskan brothers and sisters. As the darkness settled upon the uncounted ballots all over Ohio, we thought surely, with the situation as it is and was then, that scapegoat futures were as good as gold. With all the quagmires and American misleadership in the world, how could scapegoats not be in the greatest demand in history? Surely Iraq would demand vast herds. The utterly bankrupt national treasury must need to invest in some clever diversified instruments to hide the debt, not? And how about torture, or Halliburton ripping off the universe? At the very least, the Supreme Court noting that the Bushigoths couldn’t hold American citizens without charging them indefinitely would bring a bit of compensating goat flesh onto the scene. You’d certainly think so, wouldn’t you? Alas, the scapegoat future is not what it used to be. But what’s a scapegoat rancher supposed to do when NOTHING the Bushigoths command in Washington, DC, seems to ever be questioned, remedied, or even justified? Most folks seem to be fine with a UN ambassador who contends that the West Nile virus is not of US biological origin, but rather is a weapon of mass destruction launched successfully at the US from Cuba, of all places. And let me be very clear here, goatropers: I am NOT making this up! None of it. Then there is that very stern, angry, and tragically under-loved neocon fascist, Paul Wolfowitz, who is to be the major contender for the World Bank presidency. Seems the powers in the US, the very Bushigoths just described, get to nominate the president of the World Bank. So now everything sad little Paul does really WILL be about money. He still has to be confirmed, but if the present pattern holds, he’ll be a cardinal in the Catholic Church before the year is out. Maybe even Pope, the way things are looking in the Vatican. See, if nothing the administration does ever gets questioned, reversed, or taken to court and convicted, how will there ever be any need for scapegoats? When everything you do is worshipped and praised and you never make any mistakes that you’ll admit to, well, what possible future is there for scapegoat ranchers? We here at the Ranch were so thrilled by the developments on the political stage, like the Alberto Gonzales hearings, and Condi, with her show of force in the senate confirmation: “Don’t impugn my integrity, Senator.” What a hoot! But how are they ever going to need scapegoats when they can lie, mislead, distort, and claim that the anti-ballistic missile system “is ready to go”? Granted, the general in charge of that system did qualify that claim, adding that “We’ll be okay if there is a ‘small’ attack.” Please, we only accept small wars. I suppose if any country demonstrates that it has more than five missiles, we’ll have to pre-emptively attack them, so they can’t overwhelm our rugged and enduringly trustworthy anti-ballistic missile defense system. I’m sure convinced, aren’t you? We just have to get used to the fact that when you’re a Bushigoth, you can raise your middle finger to the world, never apologize, and get the chance to belittle anyone with a brain and half a thought. It certainly is working, and our future at the ranch is in grave jeopardy. Will somebody out there please do something? We can’t feed this many goats without political fodder!
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